We need to talk. I hate summer in Sydney, and I’m suss about anyone who says otherwise. It’s the worst season of them all, moonlighting as the best. How did we end up in this delusion? It’s a – I’m a – humid, stuffy, sticky mess. Is it actually 30 degrees and storming?! HELP.

Like most of my problems, summer can be fixed with the right meal at the right place. So stay with me as I pen my love letters to the plates and places that get me through summer’s torture.

To the hottest of them all

I have fond memories of 20 years ago, slurping hot two-minute chicken and corn noodles after primary school when the temperature hit the mid-30s. Turns out, there’s a touch of science behind my ritual. Hot on hot, fire with fire – a double-boiler, if you will – keeps the body cool. I’m no scientist, but it feels good to pile it on.

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Recently, I’ve been getting my treatment at Ama in Surry Hills: 16-hour beef noodle soup. The broth is layered with flavour but still light and zippy. Best of all, the noodles, broth and toppings ratio is just right, so you finish everything at once – no tangle of noodles or pool of broth staring at you at the end. CBD nook Malay Chinese also does the trick with a skin-on chicken laksa. Don’t you dare call me sweaty.

To the breeziest seat in the house

A spot outside at Fratelli Paradiso for lunch is a special thing. Made only better by chef Trisha’s silky fruit di mare risotto – with bread for scarpetta and slickly dressed leaves. For dessert, a mini bombe alaska. Hello to a Ferrero-like hazelnut feuilletine base, blackberry sorbet and salted-caramel semifreddo, all packaged in torched brown-sugar Swiss meringue. It is, simply, the best dessert I’ve eaten all summer.

Staying close to home and in need of a drink and snack, I pull up an al fresco stool at Caravin. A happy-hour Martini (12 bucks?!) paired with the pomme de terre and anchovy (a fried hasselback potato crowned with sour cream, chives and anchovy) is a primo combo for perching with a good friend and talking shit on a balmy eve. Keep all of the above comin’, summer.

To the South Coast road trip

The cool, reliable chill of my ’07 Corolla is my favourite place to be on a hot day. Yes, I want to be at arm’s length from you, Sydney. I’ll take any excuse to zip down south to the Coal Coast – just me, the buzz of the AC and my engine light. Bliss.

An hour-ish south of the city, I land at Rosie’s in Coledale for a fish and chips to put every beachside kiosk to shame. The spuds are sourced from Robertson, prepped on-site then thrice-cooked for a crisp and fluffy chip. The catch is sourced locally, and the batter is dramatic in the best way. The must-have toppings are chicken salt (think you’ve got enough? Shake once more) and tomato sauce. You’ll find me with my paper-wrapped bundle on the grass near Coledale Rock Pool. A post-chip dip in the water later, and you’re not looking too bad after all, summer.

There’s no question where I’m going next: Ciro’s Pizza is calling. I wish I lived closer so I could nab a $20 takeaway pizza on a Monday night. Sadly, not for me. I’m dining in and ordering the salsiccia pizza with San Marzano tomato, pork and fennel sausage, Parmigiano, sage and fermented chilli, and a margherita with that basil drizzle on top. I add both the salads and a bottle of whatever wine they recommend; I know it’ll be good.

Hang on a sec, maybe I do like Sydney summer?! Am I the most delusional of them all? Probably.

Gemma Plunkett is a Sydney-based dinner party tragic. She works as a food writer, recipe developer and content strategist. Find her (but mostly food) in pictures or fortnightly in your inbox via her free newsletter Ding!