Burger Royale: Hubert’s Normandy Burger Versus Poly’s Beef and Smoked Onion Beast

If there’s a silver lining in the cost-of-living crisis, it’s the rise of the restaurant happy hour. Venues all over the city are setting tasty honey traps for early birds on a budget – like me – often in the form of cheaper-than-usual bevs and, in some cases, a fancy AF burger that’s not on the regular menu.

For the debut edition of Burger Royale – a monthly showdown between two elite Sydney burgers – we’re melting like cheese on a warm bun for Hubert’s Normandy Burger ($18) and Poly’s beef burger with smoked onions ($28). Both are happy-hour headliners you can get right now, and should absolutely leave work early for. Here are the juicy details.

The Beef

If you were raised with a fear of raw protein like I was, the idea of eating a rare burger might feel a little … risqué. But there isn’t a chef or butcher alive who would dispute that, like steak, a blushing interior is the only way to go. So it is with Hubert’s dry-aged beauty, which carries the intense flavour of beef without being a tartare sandwich. On the other hand, the Poly whopper is much rosier on the inside, with a nicely charred exterior thanks to Mat Lindsay’s woodfired hearth. The squeamish diner may squirm a little – but not me. I’ve overcome my childhood trauma.

The Bun

“Look at all the sesame seeds on my fingies,” said one Broadsheet editor gleefully at the Poly table. It’s true: Poly’s fermented potato bun, made expertly in-house, is not a passive sesame seed experience. But it really taps into the visceral joy of eating a thing with your hands and making a goddamn mess at the same time. The Normandy bun was just as seedy, but lacked that delightfully explosive crunch. It was pleasantly squishy though.

The Layers

A Frenchie burger demands good fromage. Voila! Hubert swaddles the pattie in a duvet of melty Gruyere, whose richness is offset by the tang of tomato sauce and a condiment called “sauce Hubert”. I can only assume the latter is mustard-based, because the layers in harmony are giving Macca’s in the best way possible. Poly’s cheese and sauce combo – which basically coagulates into a single, glorious mess – isn’t far off Ronald’s territory either. But the addition of smoked onions makes the umami factor soar.

The Extras

You either love pickles on a burger or you don’t. To those who don’t – it’s cool, I’ll eat yours as well. Hubert lives by its values (liberté! egalité! fraternité!) and serves a zingy cucumber spear on the side, which you can either add to your burger, take interstitial bites from or steal from your date. Unless you order Poly’s vibrant pickle plate (you absolutely should), your little treat is a mega battered onion ring. A spicy little crown, if you like. I stupidly wolfed mine down on sight. I should’ve dipped it in rogue burger sauce. Doi!

The Verdict

If you like a girthy burger that errs on the cheffy side, Poly has your number. Because when the chef in question is Mat Lindsay, you can’t even flinch at the $28 price tag. Just split it with a mate and throw in a few of those renowned slabs of fried potato – yes, with the golden salted egg yolk – for maximum satisfaction. If you prefer a plate of simple, unadorned elegance all to yourself, get a one-way ticket to Normandy. Just be aware frites aren’t on the happy-hour menu – but they’re available at everyday prices if you want them. You’ll definitely want them.

@restauranthubert
@poly_au