Every day in self-isolation is a tussle against boredom. Modern life has plenty of distractions, but what do you once you’ve run out of reality TV dating shows to watch, prestige dramas to binge, veggie patches to start (ok, dream about starting), and breads to bake?

You start ranking your souvenir teaspoons on Instagram, that’s what.

The World Cup of Things is a new Instagram account, which in the words of its NSW-based founder is a “knockout tournament for the things I find in the house.”

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With literally every sport off the table for the foreseeable future, this is probably as close to March Madness as we’ll actually get.

“I came up with TWCOT to keep myself entertained during social distancing. Due to the lack of any sport, apart from the Belarusian Premier League, I need to find something to keep me away from the computer,” says Byron Jaye. “I found our housemates' pot of souvenir spoons and the idea hit me.

“It gives me an extra 20 minutes of entertainment each day. It's given me a reason to get up in the morning, and arrange the spoons. As a casual school teacher I will be transitioning TWCOT to a full time role in the near future.”

Here’s the format: household items – first up is souvenir spoons – get sorted into groups and are pitted against one another via a poll on Instagram. Winners from each group progress to the semi-finals, then on to the grand final.

On Friday, a souvenir spoon from the Western Plains cruised into the granny after toppling a contender from a bowling club in Illawarra. The finale will see Western Plains face off against a colourful fellow from Forster Shopping Village in New South Wales. Which will win? At the time of writing, Western Plains had edged ahead.

Next off the rank?

“Tacky souvenir magnets my girlfriend and I buy each other when we travel,” Jaye tells Broadsheet. “Expect a clay horse from New Forest in England and Shakespeare on a spring from Stratford-Upon-Avon.”

We hope ornamental mugs and team-building exercise t-shirts will also be considered.