Sex education in most high schools consists of awkwardly rolling a condom onto a vegetable or a piece of fruit. That doesn’t teach you a whole lot about sex. It especially doesn’t teach you how to do it. Or how to make it feel good.
Sexologist and founder of lifestyle brand Mia Muse Vanessa Muradian will fill in the gaps left by your (official) high-school education during Pleasure Weekend. She’s holding a weekend workshop at Nth Yoga in Fitzroy in August. It's half sex education and discussion, half sensual yoga class.
It’s not as scary as it sounds.
“It’s not nude yoga, and we’re not all sitting naked in a room talking about sex,” Muradian says. “It’s nothing too intense, just a really soft entry into this kind of adult sex education.”
Topics touched on include pleasure anatomy, orgasms, and the need to eradicate goal-orientated sex.
“We place so much pressure on ourselves to have an orgasm or to give someone else an orgasm,” she says. “We get so distracted and we forget that essentially, the fun of sex is in the lead up to it.”
Muradian wants us to approach sex with a view to enjoy the whole process. Not just the orgasm part. If you stop worrying about the big ending, you’ll naturally be more orgasmic and have more, and stronger orgasms.
She also wants us to let go of the idea that orgasms can be defined. “Everyone’s orgasmic fingerprint is so different. If we can get rid of this idea that an orgasm has to look a certain way then we can start fresh and re-define what gives us pleasure. Anything can be orgasmic from a tantric perspective.”
This is where the sensual yoga comes in. It’s a style of soft, flowing yoga designed to get you out of your head and in touch with your body. It’s nothing too different from ordinary yoga, except that it focuses on moving energy that’s formed in the genital area. “All yoga can be sensual,” says Muradian. “That’s what I teach.”
It’s probably because of our lack of education, but we’re all naturally a little insecure and ego-driven about sex. No one wants to be that first person to put their hand up and say they need some help.
“It takes a lot to drop the ego, but it’s so powerful to be able to intimately connect with your body and get out of your head during sex,” says Muradian.
“Going to a class like this doesn’t mean that your private stuff is out in the open. You don’t have to share. But in my experience, as soon as you give people permission to talk about this stuff, they don’t shut up.”
This article was updated on August 3, 2016.