Do you prefer crispy onions or charging cables? Should metal be hot on the grill or cool in your hand? Yellow mustard or austere white?

You may have seen the news last week that tech giant Apple announced it will be opening a Global Flagship Store in Federation Square. Many Melburnians are appalled that the publicly owned Yarra Building will be knocked down to make way for corporate interests.

In protest, a group of Melburnians are calling for a more quintessentially Australian retail experience. A petition has been launched by one Nick Price of St Kilda to replace the proposed Apple store with Australia’s favourite mega hardware corporation, Bunnings Warehouse.

As of midday Thursday the petition already had more than 800 signatures. It reads as follows:

"The proposed development of an Apple store in Federation Square is a blatant abuse of precious public space.

"Bunnings is the one and only retailer that should be built on this sacred site.

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Another petition calling for the protection of the to-be-demolished Yarra Building has more than 30,000 signatures.

If Apple thinks it can get in on the charity snag market, it would do well to remember that touch screens and greasy fingers are incompatible.

If you prefer snags over apples, sign the petition here.