Don't Tell Charles

Removed – no longer operates as a cafe


Nestled on the bank of the Maribyrnong River, Rob Townsend and self-taught patissier Thao Pham's cafe Don't Tell Charles sits between the up-and-coming suburbs of Flemington and Footscray, and specialises in cake and all things sweet.

Macarons are the cafe’s forte and flavours include anything from black sesame to bubblegum. Muffins, fudge brownies, Wagonwheels and cookies are also available. Whilst those looking for something savoury can grab a toasted baguette.

For coffee, Townsend handles the a La Marzocco Linea paddle and serves a Padre’s signature blend, Daddy’s Girl, along with various single origins.

The name of the modestly sized cafe refers to King Charles and his attempted ban on coffee houses during his reign, which has the space adorned with Charles’s signature mo.

The owner also has penchant for the midcentury nostalgia, however, and has the cafe adorned with 1950s vintage gems. This includes a retro TV hooked up with a Nintendo for customers to play whilst they wait for their coffee.

Updated: July 26th, 2017

We do not seek or accept payment from the cafes, restaurants, bars and shops listed in the Directory – inclusion is at our discretion. Venue profiles are written by independent freelancers paid by Broadsheet.