Not going to Golden Plains, Future Music or Port Fairy Folk Festival? That’s fine. In fact, that’s great, because Melbourne’s rustling up a tonne of stuff to keep you happy here in town. With respect to the friends who’ll be clogging your feeds with how much fun they’re having at festivals various, we’re skewing our guide toward music. That said, we’re sure you’ll find something to suit all tastes while celebrating the creation of the eight-hour-day this weekend.

Quantic DJ Set, Boney
Kick things off by cutting some rug on Friday night at Boney, where criminally underrated UK-via-Columbia producer Quantic gets busy behind the decks, supported by Melbourne’s best future-soul DJs. Quantic recently upped sticks from his home in Brighton, England, to the decidedly more interesting climes of the highlands of Bogota, Colombia. There he has developed a sound that’s part Latin, part hip hop, a smattering of Caribbean and all soul. Quantic is always worth checking, and with Kano and Ennio Styles, DJ Manchild, Julien Love and Jimmy Caution supporting, this promises a very good time on the dancefloor.

Boney
March 7, 9pm

Gold Panda, Corner Hotel
If you’re after a different sort of aureal experience, then Gold Panda will be warming up at the Corner before delivering his blissed-out tunes to waiting ears at Golden Plains’ Supernatural Ampitheatre on Saturday. Get on board his cloud of glitchy dream-beats at the Corner Hotel, Friday night.

Corner Hotel
March 7 2014, 10pm
Price
$37+3

Port Phillip Mussel Festival
As part of the Melbourne Food & Wine Festival, South Melbourne Market and Claypots Evening Star are celebrating this most versatile (and delicious) of crustaceans on Saturday and Sunday There’ll be mussel cook-ups by restaurants and street vendors alike, sounds of Dixieland and New Orleans Jazz … basically, a seafood street party.

South Melbourne Market
March 8, noon–11pm

As If, Lamington Drive
Like many in Melbourne, we’re big fans of Oslo Davis and his ’toons. Lamington Drive opened his first gallery show in four years on Thursday, and a collection of paintings, drawings and cartoons of varying styles now hangs at the Collingwood gallery. Well worth a look if you’re wandering through the area.

Lamington Drive
101a Sackville Street, Collingwood
Until March 29, gallery open 12–5pm on Saturdays.

Yo La Tengo, The Corner Hotel
They may wander on stage like three slightly-lost middle-aged accountants, but few bands continue to be as consistently, surprisingly amazing as indie superheroes Yo La Tengo. If you’ve seen them before, you know what we’re talking about. If you haven’t, and you like harmony, dischord and guitars in equal measure, then the YLT live experience is one that’s well worth having.

Corner Hotel
March 9, 8pm

The Push pop-up Stage, Moomba
Moomba has been part of Melbourne since forever (well, since 1954), but the fact it’s been running for six decades does not mean there’s nothing for whipper-snappers. On Monday, The Push is curating a full day of programming featuring the Smith Street Band, Allday, Remi and many more artists down at Birrarung Marr. It’s not the Birdman Rally, but it’ll be entertaining nonetheless.

Moomba Festival - Stage at Speakers Corner, Birrarung Marr
March 10, 1–9.30pm

John Waters, Hamer Hall
If William Burroughs called you “the pope of trash”, then you’re doing something right. Or wrong. Either way, it’s a safe bet that whatever you’re doing will make for some compelling performances. Whether it’s appearing on Q&A or making genre-defining films like Hairspray and Pink Flamingoes, actor, filmmaker and comedian John Waters is a cult-like figure who has made a career out of “giving bad taste a good name.” Back in Australia with his one-man comedy show This Filthy World vol. 2, Waters says"it’s hard to offend three generations, but it looks like I’ve succeeded.”

Hamer Hall
March 10, 8pm