Five Ways To Regulate Your Nervous System (and Get a Handle on Stress)

For Subriah Fonseka, stress management is all about listening to your body. And how your body is reacting to the world.

“You don’t experience the world as it is, you experience it through your nervous system,” the Kora Pilates founder says. This structure of brain, spinal cord and nerves is often called the “command centre” of the body, relaying various signals from your body to your mind and back again.

Problem is, your physical self doesn’t always get it right, Fonseka says. You might be working nine-to-five, but stress can make your body feel like it’s going to war. Or being hunted. “I’ve had periods in my life where, on the outside, my life looked amazing but inside it was really stressful. And it’s like – how do I bring my nervous system back to a level where it’s not under threat?”

Here, the Coburg studio founder talks us through her favourite ways of finding calm – and finding ways to listen to your body.

Responses have been edited for length and clarity.

Sauna

I go to the sauna at least once a week – I love the heat, I love the sweat, I love the calm. And I love the idea of disengaging. It’s 45 minutes of the day when I can’t have screen time, I can’t be on my phone. Traditional or infrared, it’s all good – I either go with my partner or by myself.

At home, you can achieve something similar with a hot bath. Add magnesium or bath salts – I find them really good for muscle recovery. Anything where you can slow down and be still and make it into a ritual for yourself will help.

Movement

Any kind of movement that has a bit of joy in it is going to positively affect your nervous system. And that’s going to look different for different people. It could be running, swimming, walking, playing footy.

No surprise – my daily movement is usually Pilates. I love that emphasis on control, balance, breath and alignment. You start to really become aware of your body and what it’s doing. Like, most of us hunch our shoulders up to our ears with stress, but when you let your shoulders sink lower, you immediately feel calmer.

My favourite move throughout the day is a little roll down – it just feels so good! Or any thoracic expansion. Or stretching with legs in straps.

Massage

My muscles can get really tight, so I schedule massages when I can and also use massage tools at home for fascia release and lymphatic drainage. I have this thing that looks like a big gua sha that you can use for the whole body, and a wooden roller that goes down your spine.

I also do a scalp massage with amla oil once a week in the shower. It’s really grounding and can help with stress. You can do circular movements at the back of your head and behind the ears then up to the top for one or two minutes. Just properly get in there!

Breathwork

I love breathwork. Usually we breathe unconsciously, which means shallow breaths and less oxygen. But when you concentrate and bring awareness to your breath, you’re taking deeper breaths, you’re getting more oxygen, your heart rate is slowing down, and you’re getting calmer.

The easiest practice is box breathing: breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale through your mouth for four seconds, hold for four seconds. You can almost visualise a box as you’re doing it, breathing in and out along each side.

Rest

Winding down before bed is essential. First: put away your phone. In sleep, your brain is encoding everything that’s happened in the day, and whatever the last input is before you go to bed can impact how you sleep. Don’t go to sleep with online garbage in your head!

Sunset lamps are great for getting your mind and body resting. I also love aromatherapy – before bed I’ll usually put some balm on my wrists and behind my ears. I’ll spritz some pillow mist that I got in Sri Lanka, which is a gorgeous mix of essential oils. I might put some music on, or a relaxing soundscape. All little rituals that tell my body it’s time to rest.

Broadsheet Access will hold an exclusive wellness day with Kora Pilates on February 28, featuring reformer Pilates, bespoke sound journeys, an ayurvedic self-care session, nourishing food, and beauty and skincare goodies from local brands owned by women of colour. Log in or join Broadsheet Access today for you chance of winning a ticket to Grounded: A Kora Pilates Experience – and to learn more about one-off events like this one.